What is a Narcissistic Relationship?
Narcissism is a personality disorder that involves an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. It’s often accompanied by abusive behavior toward others.
“A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colours.” – Karla Grimes
Do you feel insecure with your partner? Do you box your feelings when you communicate with them? or; Do you feel intimidated around them? or; Is your partner envious of your possessions?
If yes; the odds are that you are in a relationship with a narcissist;
Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship
1. You Feel Like You Have to Prove Yourself Constantly
If you feel like you have to constantly prove yourself to your partner, you might be dealing with narcissism.
This type of relationship is characterized by constant competition between partners, who are driven to outdo each other.
2. You Feel Bad About Yourself
You may not realize it, but there are signs that you’re in a narcissistic relationship. Here are seven red flags that you should watch out for:
- They make you feel bad about yourself
- They put you down
- They expect you to do things for them
- They criticize you
- They demand attention
- They take credit for everything you do
- They blame others for their mistakes
3. You Don’t Trust Him or Her
It’s easy to fall into a narcissist’s trap when you think you’re doing something nice for them.
However; these people often use flattery as a means to manipulate you. They’ll say things like “You’re so sweet”; or “I love how you care”;
This will make you feel good about yourself, but it won’t actually help you. Instead, it will only reinforce their belief that they deserve special treatment.
4. You Feel Like He or She Has no Respect For You
A narcissist might also try to control you by making you feel guilty or ashamed. They might even threaten to hurt you or others if you don’t do what they want. These tactics are used to keep you dependent on them.
5. You Feel Like You Need to Please Him or Her at all Costs
If you find yourself feeling like you need to please a narcissist, you probably are. This is because narcissists often use guilt as a weapon against people who refuse to comply with their wishes.
- Always Put Themselves First: The first trait of your narcissistic relationship or partner is they always put their needs first. They are self-concerned and lack empathy. They do not regard your feelings and do not make you feel comfortable.
- Envious: If you feel that your partner is envious of your appearance, talents, capacity, and possessions, and they make it a point to make you feel miserable, they are a narcissist.
- Think they are Superior to Others: They will usually be shy in front of others, but in their head and heart, they feel they are above all. It may be because of the insecurity that they have experienced in their childhood.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Having expectations from your partner is fine, but narcissists have unrealistic expectations and a fragile sense of self. It leads to poor relationships and distorted communication.
- They are Vulnerable to Criticism: If your partner is sensitive to criticism, wears it on their heart, often feels wounded or uses it to get attention, or presents themselves as a victim. It is a sign that you are in a narcissistic relationship.
- They are Passively Aggressive: Is your partner anti-social or mean or does something to harm himself or others? It is a sign of narcissism.
- Confiscate the Boundaries: If your partner feels they have more experience than you, they try to intrude in your affairs, provide advice, and force you to make decisions; you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
- Believe they are the Victim: If your partner keeps on bickering about how they are suffering and how life has been mean to them without giving regard to your feelings or listening to your side, it is a big sign of narcissism.
- Put you Down: If your partner makes several attempts to put you down by constantly criticizing you, invalidating your thoughts, making baseless comparisons, and simply saying you are not good enough for me, it is again a sign of narcissism.
- They Manipulate you: One of the most visible signs of a narcissistic partner is they can manipulate you. They make you feel incompetent and ungrateful, and this can cause unresolved mental issues.
- They are rigid about their behavior: Your self-obsessed partner is rigid and might get angry easily if the work is not done according to their expectations.
- Being absent when you need them: If your partner is mentally, physically, or emotionally absent when you need them and choose to focus on his interests, it is a sure-shot sign of a narcissistic relationship or partner.
Other Signs
- Never admit they are wrong.
- Don’t want to discuss a topic that doesn’t matter to them.
- Do not believe in open discussions.
- Unforgiving of your mistakes.
- They want you to behave best with them irrespective of how they behave with their partner.
- They make you feel guilty and undesirable.
- Seek a lot of attention and don’t reciprocate it.
- Don’t value the partner’s choices
- Try to overpower you in different situations.
How to Deal With Narcissistic Relationships?
Try to figure out why your partner behaves in such a way;
“Think about what is forcing your partner to behave this way.”
- Did they have a traumatic childhood?
- Were their parents narcissists?
Find out where toxicity stems from and try to communicate with them.
- Create boundaries: if your partner keeps passing off their ideas about how brilliant they are and how hard they work. Beat their ideas by creating boundaries. Though keeping your distance from your partner is not suggested, healthy boundaries are acceptable and will strengthen your relationship.
- Seek professional help: If your partner is not behaving as they should, you can seek professional help. They will identify the triggers and break the cycle with tools you might not be aware of.
- Break up: If nothing seems to work, breaking up is the most viable option. Earlier, the idea of divorce was a big taboo and was considered by a few. But now it is common, and living with such people does not make sense. Don’t clip your wings thinking marriage is your responsibility and families are involved. Give yourself a sense of relief.
- Ask your friends to support you: Be in touch with the right, nourishing people who can be there to motivate you or lift you when anything is going wrong.
- Meditate: Dealing with a narcissistic partner is not a cakewalk; you need a lot of patience. For that, start practicing meditation or anything that energizes your body. Don’t be afraid to vent your feelings in writing or in person.
- Talk to them: Talk to your partner about how you feel and try to dig out where arrogance and a false sense of pride came from.
Bottom Line
Dealing with a narcissistic personality and narcissistic relationship is not easy. Your identity sometimes becomes endangered- so set healthy limitations, so your partner knows what is acceptable and what is not.
